


With an audience

by Jecari



Series: Buddie First Kiss Week 2020 [6]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Buddie First Kiss Week, Buddie First Kiss Week 2020, First Kiss, Fluff, Kiss cam, Light Angst, M/M, Pride night
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:06:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24571264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jecari/pseuds/Jecari
Summary: Throwing another piece of popcorn in his mouth, Buck finally turns to look at Eddie. He doesn’t reply right away and stares at Eddie with his head tilted to the side. After a little while, a smile spreads across his face. His grin and the glint Eddie sees in his eyes make Eddie’s heart hammer in his chest. Buck looks like he knows what he’s truly asking for.Would you kiss me?
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: Buddie First Kiss Week 2020 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1769521
Comments: 13
Kudos: 276





	With an audience

**Author's Note:**

> For the [ Buddie First Kiss Week ](https://buddiefirstkissweek.tumblr.com/). 
> 
> Day 5: With an audience 
> 
> Hope you like it ♥
> 
> Beta'd by the lovelies [ Meloingly ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/meloingly/pseuds/meloingly) and [ Jyang1219 ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jyang1219/pseuds/jyang1219), thanks a lot to both of you ♥

“Well, that’s embarrassing,” Buck states, throwing a piece of popcorn in his mouth.

His eyes are fixed on the huge screen, so when Eddie turns to look at him he’s met by his profile, but he can see the second-hand embarrassment tainting his features anyway. Around them, the crowd is booing, showing its disappointment in the two people who just refused to kiss and Eddie agrees: it’s embarrassing.

When Buck invited him to go to a Dodgers’ game, Eddie didn’t hesitate. Christopher was already supposed to go to a sleepover, so he had the night free and was more than happy to spend it out of his empty house. The thing is, Eddie didn’t know the event hosted at the Dodgers’ Stadium was a special one. He only realized when Buck got them t-shirts with the team’s name– which instead of its usual color is written in rainbow colors– that it was the Dodger’s Pride Night. Surely, his first time supporting the L.A. baseball team was going to be memorable.

So far, Eddie’s been proven right. He doesn’t remember the last time he had this much fun. Sure, if you ask him, the Rangers are better but Buck’s company is enough to make him forget about his betrayal.

“You would do it?” Eddie asks Buck.

He’s genuinely curious about whether Buck would kiss someone if the kiss cam stops on him, but a part of him is fishing for clues as well. Clues that, if the kiss cam stops on them, Eddie won’t have to face a humiliating rejection. Because ever since the camera landed on two women and Eddie realized that it was a possibility, it’s all Eddie has been thinking about, kissing Buck.

Throwing another piece of popcorn in his mouth, Buck finally turns to look at Eddie. He doesn’t reply right away and stares at Eddie with his head tilted to the side. After a little while, a smile spreads across his face. His grin and the glint Eddie sees in his eyes make Eddie’s heart hammer in his chest. Buck looks like he knows what he’s truly asking for.

_Would you kiss me?_

Buck’s eyes fall on Eddie’s lips before meeting his eyes again and, after what feels like forever to Eddie, he answers:

“Yes,” Buck nods, quickly looking at Eddie’s lips again. “Yes, I would,” Buck slightly leans in as he says so and Eddie can’t do anything but watch his best friend’s eyes coming closer and closer until all he can see is blue.

Eddie’s eyes flutter closed and for a second he thinks that Buck is going to kiss him. Their faces are so close he can feel his breath on his skin and their noses brush. However, Buck doesn’t kiss him. When Eddie opens his eyes again, he finds Buck leaning back on his seat, as if nothing happened. Eddie wonders if he’s daydreamed… again.

“After all, it’s just a kiss,” Buck adds nonchalantly. “It doesn’t mean anything.”

Eddie doesn’t know what to say to that, so he just stays silent and turns towards the field. He focuses on the screen as the kiss cam scans the crowd again, but he doesn’t really see it, lost in his thoughts. Even though a part of him agrees with Buck, his words make his insides twist uneasily. However, Eddie can’t give it much thought because Buck snaps him back to the moment by nudging him with his elbow.

Confused, Eddie looks at his best friend with a frown. He doesn’t realize the kiss cam has stopped on them until Buck jerks his head towards the screen, a smile on his face. Slowly, Eddie turns his head towards the screen and finds his confused face staring back at him. His heart is pounding and he finds it hard to breathe as he turns to look at Buck.

“So?” Buck asks, cocking an eyebrow at Eddie.

Eddie has never wanted to disappear that much in his life. He can feel his cheeks warm up under the weight of the crowd’s gazes, so he focuses on Buck. That doesn’t help. His best friend is staring at him expectantly, his eyes begging him to not refuse to kiss him. That’s enough to make Eddie give in.

“It’s just a kiss,” he replies with a shrug, trying not to look too affected.

More than a real answer to Buck’s question, it’s a much-needed reminder that what is about to happen doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t mean that Buck likes him too nor that he wants anything more than friendship with him.

_It’s just a kiss… It’s just a kiss…It’s just a kiss._

Eddie repeats Buck’s words in his head like a mantra in a vain attempt to calm himself down. _It’s just a kiss_ but Buck is the one he’s about to kiss so Eddie can’t stop his heart from racing and he has no control over the butterflies dancing in his belly either. All he can do is feel them.

Smiling widely, Buck puts the pack of popcorn down on the floor and takes Eddie’s face between his hands, staring at Eddie. Pined in place by Buck’s intense gaze, Eddie can’t move. He just sits still and once again watches Buck lean in. This time, Buck does kiss him, firmly pressing his lips on his. It’s not the kiss Eddie imagined, it truly is _’just a kiss’_ – it’s quick, awkward, and deprived of any feelings– and Eddie understands what Buck meant. However, if their kiss saves them from embarrassing themselves in front of thousands of people– earning them cheering, clapping and whistles from the crowd– the silence hanging between them when Buck pulls away and the kiss cam moves on to other people is heavy and weird. Clearing his throat, Eddie shifts uncomfortably on his seat to face the field again and notices Buck doing the same from the corner of his eyes.

Eddie spends the rest of the game stuck in his head, torn between the lingering feeling of Buck’s lips on his and his best friend’s words still going on in a loop in his mind. Their kiss wasn’t phenomenal, it was barely a kiss, yet Eddie wants it to mean something. The realization brings his mood down, and he doesn’t know what to do about it. Eddie’s feelings for Buck aren’t new– he’s just been doing a good job at hiding them even from himself– but tonight, after that kiss, they are stronger than ever and Eddie can’t ignore them anymore. But knowing that they are unrequited and that Buck can kiss him and not feel a thing is worse than anything he’s imagined. It hurts.

If Buck notices anything, he doesn’t talk about it; he doesn’t even show it. Once the night is over– closing with fireworks that for some reason leave a bitter taste in Eddie’s mouth– Buck drives him home. As they get closer and closer to Eddie’s place, Eddie feels his heart break more and more. He doesn’t know where it comes from but as Buck parks in front of his house, the hurt turns into annoyance. Maybe it’s his brain’s way to protect himself but he feels his blood boil under his skin, and he needs to get away from Buck. He’s not mad at Buck for not feeling the way he does, he knows that kind of feelings can’t be forced, but he needs some space right now. So as soon as Buck turns the ignition off, he unbuckles the seatbelt, mumbles his goodbyes as he opens the door, and almost runs to his house.

Eddie is fighting with the lock of his front door when he hears footsteps coming closer behind him and he can’t stop the irritated sigh pushing past his lips.

“Eddie…” Buck sounds hesitant and at this moment, Eddie hates the way his name rolls on his tongue. “What’s wrong?”

All Eddie wants to do is go inside and avoid this conversation but the lock still won’t cooperate, so he lies.

“Nothing.”

Of course, Buck sees right through him. Eddie feels him step closer seconds before Buck’s hand covers his own, and he freezes. His skin burns where his best friend is touching it and his breath catches in his throat.

“Is it because of the kiss?” Buck asks, taking his hand away from Eddie’s. Eddie turns to glare at him. “It is, isn’t it?”

“Why would it be?” Eddie can’t hide the bitterness in his voice. “It was just a kiss, it doesn’t mean anything, right?”

Eddie clenches his teeth and his chest rises and falls rapidly as Buck stays silent, frowning. He does it again, staring at Eddie’s eyes as if he’s looking for answers to a question he hasn’t even asked. After a moment, Buck’s face softens and he sighs. Whatever he’s found in Eddie’s eyes seems to be the answer he was looking for. Yet he still ends up asking his question out loud.

“Do you want it to mean something?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Eddie tries to avoid the question. “You’ve made it clear that it was meaningless to you.”

“I was talking about all those kisses back there,” Buck explains, waving his hand at nothing. “They are for fun, for– for the show, _they_ are meaningless,” he insists and Eddie can’t take it anymore. 

He can’t stay here and listen to Buck repeat that kissing him meant nothing to him. So he turns back and tries to unlock the door again. It doesn’t stop Buck from speaking again. 

“But kissing _you_? That’s not meaningless to me, it means everything to me,” he confesses and Eddie stills. “I just wish I had the guts to do it under other circumstances, without an excuse and an audience.”

Just like that, Eddie’s nerves calm down. Annoyance vanishes, replaced by something he can’t quite place, and he doesn’t want space anymore. Actually the few inches separating him from Buck feel like too much. As flat as it was, their kiss meant something to Buck– or at least, he wants it to mean something as much as Eddie does. Eddie’s heart could explode right now.

Eddie doesn’t think nor talk, he acts. He turns towards Buck and closes the distance between them and for the second time that night, he presses his lips on Buck’s. He keeps it short and soft, still a bit scared that this isn’t what Buck wants, but he kisses him. Instantly, he feels Buck react to the kiss. His body relaxes against Eddie’s and his hands settle on his hips while his lips part. Eddie takes the hint and deepens the kiss, his tongue sliding into Buck’s mouth as one of his hands draws him closer by grabbing the back of his neck and the other one rests on Buck’s jaw. Unlike their kiss at the stadium, there’s nothing empty about this one. It’s full of a myriad of feelings that makes Eddie’s head spin. It’s soul-shattering and everything Eddie hoped for.

“What was that?” Buck asks when Eddie pulls away so they can catch their breath.

“Something meaningful,” Eddie replies with a smile on his face.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Kuddos are always appreciated and cherished, your love and support are what keep me writing! ♥
> 
> Find me on [ Tumblr ](https://depthandcharacter.tumblr.com)!


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